Posted By: Shawn On: August 27, 2008
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I’m not a big fan of lingerie. Every girl I’ve ever slept with has had some kind of collection of lingerie and they seem to really enjoy wearing it. They walk into a room in their pajamas all frumpy-like and walk out in a teddy acting like they just drank a gallon of insta-whore. I don’t mind looking at ladies in lingerie but, when it comes down to it, I don’t want to navigate a freaking jungle gym when it comes time to get some action. I don’t want to get caught up in some lace thingy that was sexy before it started rubbing against my thigh and nearly sliced through my skin. So keep your crazy stripper wear at home in the closet and let’s get naked and roll around together. Check out these old snaps of Eva Longoria rocking some lingerie in 2001 and click my links.

DMX told some judge to F-off during a court appearance today
Some random dude from Top Chef got himself a nice, fat DUI
Those chicks from the Pussycat Dolls are always slutty looking
That dude from Mos Def got in trouble for hitting a photog
McKenzie Taylor is some hottie that was in Playboy one time

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Fashion Statements

Tags: Eva Longoria, Lingerie

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 27, 2008
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I just talked some chick into getting naked for me on her webcam. I promised her I wouldn’t hit ‘Print Screen’ to save the images and for some reason I wasn’t lying. I feel like I let you folks down because I know you would have enjoyed checking out naked pictures of this chick. Plus, I really like writing the word EXCLUSIVE on things and I missed a real opportunity here. She didn’t get freaky or anything but she did get totally naked. She told me she had to go because she was taking a shower and I, over the course of about thirty minutes, talked her into showing me her boobs, first, then her goods. It was pretty awesome. I’m going to eat some cookies now and drink a Corona so I can think about what just happened and how much of a failure I am for not documenting it. You can sit back and enjoy these photos of Christina Ricci’s nipples while I sulk.

Fun With Drugs: Some Soap star got busted with cocaine at the airport
Jessica Biel is kinda going downhill in the looks department
DeAnna Pappas is some semi-famous hottie in a bikini
Jailbait: Shawn Johnson shows off her medal and her legs
Venessa Minnillo is looking pretty hot and very desperate

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, I See Your Boobs

Tags: Christina Ricci, Pokies

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 27, 2008
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I am a wounded man this morning. I got wasted last night at that bar with the big boobed bartender that I’ve talked about here on Vanity Spy before. Actually, I went to about six or seven bars over the course of a few hours. I got into an argument at some point with a manager or something about how his entire bar was staffed with men. What kind of douchebag runs a business like that? You can’t give me some eye candy while I swill back $7 Captain and Coke’s? So I got kicked out of that place and kept moving around. At the end of the night, after stuffing my face with cheeseburger and french fry goodness, I came back to my apartment and played Wii boxing with my roommate for a while. Nintendo Wii kicked my ass. My arms hurt, my legs hurt and my head is pounding. To top all of this off, the cat, Eli (named after that loser Eli Manning), attacked me for no apparent reason. Have you ever watched that YouTube video where the guy is trying to adopt out a cat and it attacks him live on television? It was exactly like that. I have scratches and bite marks everywhere. I can’t find the cat this morning but, if I do, I’m going to kick his ass and take his food away. Enjoy these pictures of Tara Reid premiering her ‘Mantra’ clothing line while I hunt this bastard down.

Madonna is still a whore and this is the definitive proof
Shock: Diddy is forced to fly commercial and he wants some oil
I guess Jennifer Aniston is getting married or something like that
I had no idea that everyone hated that ESPN guy so much
Michael Phelps is going to be on the MTV VMA’s this year

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Wait, She's Not Dead?

Tags: Clothing Line, tara reid

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 26, 2008
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So it’s no secret that I wrote Casey Anthony a letter. I’ve talked about her case before because it interests me. By the way, I’m back on - I had this chick Meg post some stuff for me today and I paid her the $36 or so that I had in my pocket so I could scan this crap and resend it to Casey Anthony’s house - thanks for being a post slut Meg! Enjoy the cash. Anyhow, I guess I sent the letter too late and it was stamped ‘Inmate Released’ as you can see in the photos below. No big deal though, I have her home address and telephone number. My creepy ‘Casey Anthony Adventure’ is just beginning. She’s actually looking pretty ugly and murderous these days but I can’t hate her for it - she must be under major pressure to confess to accidental homicide. Life is crazy, isn’t it? One minute you’re blowing some guy in his apartment while your daughter (this is purely speculation folks) burns up in the back of your car like some kind of life size hot pocket. The next minute, you’re repeatedly lying to cops and thinking how you can suck your way out of this whole mess. Email me, Casey, and I’ll be a character witness in your case. God knows you need the help and, as you can see from my respectable website, I am a very credible bastard. Plus, I know how we can get rid of the body - but we’ll talk about that later.

In Case You Were Wondering: Carmen Electra is still hot
Pamela Anderson might move into the Playboy Mansion
Paris Hilton has some really, really big glasses. Really.
Nelly is really mad about something. Maybe his lack of a career?

Posted in: Meet The V-Listers, What A Jackass

Tags: Casey Anthony, Creepy

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 26, 2008
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I have no idea who this Danielle Lloyd chick is. I don’t really care to be honest. She’s got a decent body…nothing I’d turn lesbian for…but hot enough to be seen out with. I have this one friend, who is average looking, but always dresses really, really slutty. She’s that chick that all the guys want because she’s just above their level so they all hit on her. I love going out with her because she picks up all the drunk guys for us and convinces them to buy us drinks. The really drunk ones always go for her, and if they’ve succeeded in getting her drunk, she usually obliges with some back seat hand action at least. It’s fun to watch her in action. She goes out knowing full well that she will get hammered and end the night with some dude’s junk either in her face or hands. Check out Danielle Lloyd in some poolside in some orange bikini and click the hell outta my links. It’s been fun, but I’m out.

With Love, Meg

It looks like somebody kicked Kelly Osbourne’s ass
Uma Thurman hits the beach with her man and no clothes
Rihanna looks like a real bitch on the set of some music video
What the hell is going on with this Asian and Ramen Noodles?
Let’s take another look at Katy Perry’s 32 D boobies

Posted in: Meet The V-Listers, VS Bikini Madness

Tags: Bikini, Danielle Lloyd

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 26, 2008
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I worked for years at Victoria’s Secret. I went from being the chick that folds all the thongs, to the chick that offers your perfume to the chick that measures every single pair of breasts that walk into the store. No lie. On any given 8 hour day of work I would touch, grope, handle, fondle, look at, compare and check out a good 30 to 40 pairs of juggs. There was this one woman, in her mid 30’s that came in every single Tuesday morning as soon as our store would open. She would always come to me first, we’d go into the fitting room together, she’d take her thin little tank top off and I’d measure her obnoxiously large boobs. I’m talking almost into the F range. They were fake, which was fine, but I never understood why she always wanted me to measure them. It’s not like those suckers were going to get any bigger. She always wore her lip liner on the outside of her lips in hopes that they would look bigger. I always used to ask why she didn’t get surgery on those, too. Her reply, every week, was because she “hadn’t found a new man after her husband left her to pay for them”. Nice. Pam Anderson seems like she’d have the same response. Check out how old she’s gotten then click my amazing, super cool, state of the art links.

-With love, Meg

Despite nudity and drama, Denise Richards’ show is canceled
Why does it seem like Jennifer Aniston is always bitching?
Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are still having sex
Those ladies on The Hills make lots of money to do nothing
Dr. Dre’s son was found dead. Wait, Dr. Dre had a son?

Posted in: Celebrity Train Wrecks, Wait, She's Not Dead?

Tags: pamela anderson, Ugly

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Posted By: Shawn On: August 26, 2008
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Shawn is one lazy piece of shit. I’m sitting in my office, getting some work done and this hungover fool strolls in five hours late to work and offers me this deal. Apparently, I just have to post some random pictures of some random half-naked chicks and he’s gonna give me some money. I couldn’t say no. After all, I am a starving chick that would probably pose half naked to earn the kind of money that these random half-naked chicks earn and I wasn’t really doing much of anything to accomplish my regular tasks. Sad to say, I don’t have a good story to tell right now but I am going to think of something for the next post. Now, check out Natalia Martinez (she’s that hottie from Death Race) and click my links you bastards.

-With Love, Meg

One of the Olsen Twins is not wearing pants
The annoying chick from The Hills is wearing spandex
Katy Perry’s 32D’s are raising money for cancer and even I’m turned on
Stacy Keibler is wearing spandex, too but she’s not annoying
Eva Mendez has a crush on a girl

Posted in: Daily Eye Candy, Meet The V-Listers

Tags: Death Race, Natalie Martinez

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